Carl Joseph Steadman found Unconcious outside of bar

Carl Steadman was in my sister's grade in Junior and High School. He was tall and could be considered imposing for his size. But I remember that smile. A smile the lit him up and caused you to smile as well.

He was always nice to me. Which says a lot as Junior and High School for me, was difficult. I was bullied and treated badly for a long time. You see, I was very shy and let people say things and do things that would directly or indirectly hurt me, both physically and emotionally. I did not have the ability, at the time, to stand up for myself. I was afraid most of the time. Ah, but I am not the point of this story. Carl is.

Carl was nice to me and so was his brother, Andrew. When I heard what had happened to Carl, my thoughts went to Andrew. Where is he? I hope he is okay. I hope he is surrounded by people that are comforting him during this horrific time.

I first found out about Carl's death on Facebook. There was a group created to memorialize him. Then a day or two later, the only guy from that high school that I still keep in touch with, called me to see if I knew what happened.

Carl had been in Fort McMurray, Alberta looking for work. He went out to a bar called "Diggers Variety Club". In the wee hours of the morning on February 9th, the police were flagged down and Carl was found unconcious. Carl died that day in hospital. Apparently there should have been many witnesses. Apparently there is security video that indicates there was an "incident" or "confrontation". Yet there is nothing so far that has identified suspects. Or atleast if there is, the information is not being released.

Carl Joseph Steadman, a guy who impacted my life, warranted a couple of small articles in local news papers. That is all?! How can that be? He meant a lot to his family, to his friends yet they treat him as worthy of only a few paragraphs in small press releases.

I REMEMBER him!! Many remember and mourn his passing. He was worth more than what he got. Why are the police not bombarding the press with pleas for information? Why did his murder, if it was murder, not warrant air time or newspaper articles, on major news channels or space in major news papers? I could not even find a single hit on google news for Carl. The links I did find were located after much searching.

Was it because he was found outside of a bar? Was it because he was black? Was it because he was not an Alberta grown boy? None of that matters. A light has been extinguished too soon. A family needs justice. Friends need comfort in the knowledge that a murderer (or murderers) is answering for his (their) actions.

What would you do?

What would you do if you knew and could not change....

the 16 year old girl you said "See you Monday" to on Friday was going to shoot herself to death on Sunday...

the sweet, nice guy that you knew in high school that had an infectious smile was going to be murdered outside of a bar in red neck, small town Alberta in 18 years...

the sweet cleaning lady that gave you a jewellry box for Christmas would be ravaged by cancer and leave three beautiful children and a husband to mourn...

the friend that always saved you from having to take the bus from Calgary to Lake Louise or vice versa would die in a a truck crash hours after he left Lake Louise to drive the long drive home, for good...

I have pondered these questions long and hard. The above have all happened in my life. There are many others, but these ones are on my mind lately. Life can be so heavy on your heart. Especially when these points of lights in your life are taken so brutally, so cruelly, and far too soon.

I will be writing more on each of these individuals soon. Some posts will be more personal, but one will be because I am concerned. Concerned about what, if anything, is being done to find a killer or killlers.

Randomness of Thought.....

I have not had the heart for some time to write on any one subject at length, though there have been many happenings in this insane world that I have pondered. So tonight I write a little about one thing that I have thought about a lot....

It is my belief that every child that you have is a gift from God. Someone to be cherished and loved. Someone that, as a parent, you should take the time and effort to know and to love not just because you helped in their creation but because of the person that they become. So when does it become too many children? I have thought about this often lately because of the Duggar family. They recently welcomed their 17th child in to the world. The children range in age from 19 years old, to the youngest - a mere few months.

So as I wondered how much time they would really have, to get to know so many people. I found that I could not see it possible for them to get to know each of them, as I know my 2 boys. I am not discouraging large families or trying to be negative towards their decision to take God's command of "go forth a multiple" so very much to heart. To further my understanding of how such a large family functions and on what level of closeness, I asked two different people that I know that come from large families. One friend is a boy in a family of 14 siblings. He told me that he was never close with his parents and just semi close to some of the siblings. He said that he did not fault his parents, it was simply that there was always so much work to be done and very little time for "family time". The second person I asked was a female from a family of 11 siblings. She being the youngest. And she indeed echoed my first friend. While she said she loves her family, she does not know them as she would have liked. Half of her sibling were already in high school or out of the house, before she was at an age to be able to get to know them.

Personally I have put my limit to 4 children. With 3 being the ideal. I don't want to raise strangers that I love. I want to raise people that are adjusted and can one day tell their own children what their grandma was really like......not just that I put food on the table and disciplined them when they needed it.

It is with so much saddness....

that I write this post. On Saturday, August 11th in the late evening, the "Saskatoon Dad that cannot be named" was killed in a car accident. Although my contact with him was minimal (a few emails of thanks, for the support) I am so deeply hurt and sad. For him, for his son and for his family.

Apparently another man was driving the wrong way and if the "dad" had not swerved when he did, it is very possible that the other passengers in his car may have been killed as well. The other driver has been charged with: refusing to provide a breath sample, impaired driving causing death, three counts of impaired driving causing bodily harm, dangerous driving causing death and three counts of dangerous driving causing bodily harm.

I want to tell his family, if they read this, that I am most sincerely saddened and I send my condolences. He was a good man that was only trying to do his best. He will be remembered and missed.

It is at this time that my thoughts also go to the baby and 'adoptive parents'. I hope that this has moved them somewhat. Perhaps "dad's" family can be reached out too. Perhaps now, hard feelings can be put to rest along with "dad". That child will only benefit from knowing his "dad's" family. The more people who love you, the richer you are for it.


DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE PEOPLE. YOU RUIN LIVES!!!!!!!!!

Visitation Rights granted once again

The saskatoon father that I've written about has been once again granted visitation rights with his son. One hour a week, every Monday. The father had requested 2 hours, and apparently that was just too much. Hey, it's better than nothing I suppose.

I've read that there is/was concerns relating to website postings that the father had made. Unflattering or insulting comments towards the couple that have taken his son. While I understand his frustration and concern and the amount of emotional stress that must be eating at him, I am concerned. Those comments, once out in this enormous cyber universe, can never be taken back (I should know, things do come back to haunt you). Those comments can be used against him, and possibley many years from now hurt his son. So I say to you Saskatoon Dad, while I understand your pain I must warn you off of such things just as the judge did. Negativety will only breed more of it....and then, where does it end?

I am glad for you. Seeing your son once a week, is a step in the right direction. Cherish him and try to think of only the good that is your son.

Racism? Ageism? on the Go trains

Let me tell you of an incident...and then you will decide what to make of it.

Three older, grey haired, white females are on a Go train heading to downtown Toronto. Sitting diagonally from them is a young Native couple. The young couple actually look even younger than they are. Go train employees enter the area asking for tickets. The older women show theirs, and the employee notes that they were not cancelled. The women are given a friendly reminder to cancel the tickets when the get off. The young Native couple is approached. The native female shows her 10 ride ticket, and how the cancellation machine had damaged the ticket when she tried to cancel it for the ride. The native female explains that she did try but the machine mangeled the ticket and did not stamp it. She is given a written warning, her driver's license number is taken. She is lectured and spoken too in condescending tones. When the Go employee is questioned as to why the native was being treated more harshly, she was told that she should be thankful that she was not getting a fine of $110, and not worry about the other women who were treated with respect and courtesy.

Ageism? Racism? or just the Bad Luck of the draw?

I have been stewing on this one since the weekend. You see this is what happened to me. It would not have annoyed me so much if I had been treated as equally as the older white females, even if that had meant that we all had gotten the $110 fine. I don't care about the admonishment (although I have to tell you, that Go employee was condescending and rude) what I care about is the inequality of treatment here.

Saskatoon Dad's Saga goes on.....

I haven't written in a while. I tried to. I have started a few stories that are still sitting as drafts. They are no where near completion, because truth be told I had lost my stomache for it. In January the Judge presiding over the Case of "Adam" (the Saskatoon dad who can not be named) decided not only to take away Adam's parental rights, but to also take away his right to even know his child. I was shocked. I was angry. I sat at my computer in disbelief. A parents rights were stripped away without any real and 'just' cause. Yet in this country children who are mentally, physically and emotionally abused by parents are given back on a regular basis, simply because the 'parent' (I use the term loosely, as I do not think that is what those kinds truely are) has taken an anger mangement or parenting course. Recovering drunks and drug addicts are allowed to shout to the roof tops of parental rights and concerns, and in turn will get their children back. But a man, because he was not around during pregnancy and not there at the birth, was not given the chance to even try to be a dad. I can't wrap my head around that. That "Adam" had not fucked up as a parent. He was not allowed to be a parent in the first place. Why? Because the biological mother decided from the get go to NOT allow him to be a dad. She, I am as disgusted with as I am the couple that will not give Adam his rights, but instead attempted to slander and put him in a bad light as a person. Now I am not stupid, I now that Adam is not perfect. Hell, who is? I certainly wasn't when I had my first son...and I still wasn't when I had my second. But I love them both to death and everything I do, is for them.

Okay, now that I have gotten that off my chest...."Adam" will be having another fundraiser to help with the costs of his on going fight for his rights to be a father and dad, to his son. If you're in that area, please drop by:

The Saskatoon Dad's (Fund-raiser)
Steak Night
Come dine with the internationally known father fighting for his child Adam Hendricks the Saskatoon dad that can't be named.

Date: Sunday April 29, 2007
Where: 4 Seasons Restaurant
909 Arcola Ave. E.
Regina, Sask.
Time: 6 pm - 9pm
Tickets: 20.00 per person (beverage included)
Dinner Includes: 8 oz. Rib Eye, Roasted Potatoes, Mushrooms, Caesar Salad, Garlic Toast, Beverage

For more information or to purchase tickets please contact one of the following:
Brenda H 306-924-0934 Lorena G 306-957-2007



On a side thought: I wonder if the adopted couple has thought about Baby's feelings in all this. When he becomes an adult and finds out his adoptive parents refused to allow his father in his life.....do they think that he will just be "okay" with that?

Rick Fredrickson has his day in court

and as of yet, as far as I can tell, there has been no decision by the Honorable Justice Shawn Smith.

During the five day trial, as is usual in such cases, there was accusations on both sides. Although from what I have seen it appeared to be more vapid on the side of the couple that want to keep Rick's son.

The light in an otherwise nasty business of a trial, was the biological grand-mother's testimony. While there were certains aspects of her that were concerning, what she had to say about Rick was important and something that the Honorable Justice should really take to heart. She described Rick as a polite, kind, jovial and respectable person. ''I can't imagine many men in a similar situation who wouldn't have contempt. But he has never said anything untoward about my girl,'' she said.

Now if the biological grand-mother sees the good in Rick, what more can you ask for? Sure there are things in his past that the other side tried to throw at him. With the evident lying nature of both the biological mother (she again stated she did not know Rick was the father, while having repeatedly told family members he was) and her sister (who contradicted herself on numerous occasions during her testimony and conveniently had amnesia about other issues)
I would really take the biological mother's accusations with more than just a grain of salt.

To you Rick, I say this: When this is all over, and your son is where he belongs (I do so hope this comes to pass) do right by him and by us, those that support you and want so badly for you to have your chance to be a real dad. Not just a biological father. Love him and raise a good man.
And be sure that he does know his culture and where he comes from. I, myself, am of the First Nations and I believe you can give him that part of himself, with as much reverence as is deserved.

The Butcher of Baghdad Is Dead

After much time and much legal wrangling, the end is at hand for Saddam Hussein . The once much feared and loathed evil icon of our time has fallen far from his self made (with the blood of many) pedestal as a major world figure. Now he meets his maker and answers for his wrongs. I must say that it is with relief I write this. Far too many people have been hurt and murdered by his hand or his will. There are many that could say that this execution is not the right way to do things. That placing him in prison for the rest of his natural born life would have been the more appropriate way. I think not. If he had lived on there would have always been the possibility, no matter how small, that he would be broken out/freed by his supporters. A chance that I do not believe the human race could take.

I am indeed an advocate of the death penalty. Of course the ultimate punishment that man can inflict is not an issue to be taken lightly or handed out like candy on Halloween. There would of course have to be strict guidelines and eligibility requirements for such cases. In my mind Saddam fit this criteria with little effort.

We live in a world where we will put down a dog that has mauled a child. We will hunt down and kill a bear that has attacked a camper. We will gut a shark that has attacked a swimmer. Yet we allow the human monsters to live on. The difference between all those that I mentioned above is simple....humans are the only ones of this lot, that make the concious decision to do evil and inflict pain and harm. The other animals merely revert to what is in their nature. Whether it be out of a feeling of threat, a need for food or meerly to fight (a fighting nature that has been breed in to them by man).

So the human rabid monster is dead and I am relieved. Not happy per say. There is no joy in another human being's death. But there is justice and relief. Justice for the wronged and relief for those that could've have been wronged at a future time and place.